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欧·亨利O.Henry
OnhisbenMadisonSquareSoapymoveduneasily.Whenwildgeesehonkhighofnights,andithoutsealskincoatsgrowkindtotheirhusbands,andymovesuneasilyohepark,youmayknowthatwihand.
AdeadleaffellinSoapy'slap.ThatwasJackFrost'scard.JadtulardenizensofMadisivesfairwarningofhisannualcall.AttheersoffourstreetshehandshispasteboardtotheNorthWind,footmanofthemansionofAllOutdoors,sothattheinhabitantsthereofmaymakeready.Soapy'smindbeisahatthetimehadtoresolvehimselfintoasingularitteeofWaysaainsttheingrigour.Andthereforehemoveduneasilyonhisbench.
&orialambitionsofSoapywere.Inthemwereioerraneancruises,ofsoporifiskiesintheVesuvianBay.ThreemonthsontheIslandwaswhathissoulcraved.Threemonthsofassuredboardandbedandialpany,safefromBoreasas,seemedtoSoapytheessehingsdesirable.
ForyearsthehospitableBlackwell'shadbeenhiswiers.JustashismorefortunatefellowNewYorkershadboughttheirtiBeadtheRivieraeater,soSoapyhadmadehishumblearrasforhisaheIsland.Aimewase.Ontheprevioushributedbehhiscoat,abouthisanklesandoverhislap,hadfailedtorepulsethecoldashesleptonhisbehespurtingfountaisquare.SotheIslandleandtimelyinSoapy'smind.Hesedtheprovisiohenameofcharityforthecity'sdepes.InSoapy'sopiniontheLawwasmnthanPhilanthropy.Therewasanendlessroundofinstitutions,munideleemosynary,osetoutandreceivelodgingandfoodatwiththesimplelife.ButtooneofSoapy'spriftsofcharityareeinustpayinhumiliationofspiritforeverybehehandsofphilanthropy.AsCaesarhadhisBrutus,everybedofcharitymusthaveitstollofabath,everyloafofbreaditspensationofaprivateandpersonalinquisitioisbettertobeaguestofthelaw,whichthoughductedbyrules,doesnotmeddleundulywithagentleman'sprivateaffairs.
Soapy,haviotheIsland,atoaplishihereweremanyeasywaysofdoingthis.Thepleasaodineluxuriouslyatsomeexpe;aerdesolvendedoverquietlyandwithoutuproartoapoliaagistratewoulddotherest.
Soapylefthisbendstrolledoutofthesquareandacrossthelevelseaofasphalt,whereBroadwayandFifthAveogether.UpBroadwayheturned,aaglitteringcafe,wherearegatheredthtlythechoicestproductsofthegrape,thesilkrotoplas
Soapyhadhimselffromthelowestbuttonofhisvestupward.Hewasshaven,andhiscoatwasdedhisblack,ready-tiedfour-in-haedtohimbyaladymissionaryonThanksgivingDay.Ifhecouldreachatableiued,successwouldbehis.Theportionofhimthatwouldshowabovethetablewouldraisenodoubtier'smind.Aroastedmallardduck,thoughtSoapy,wouldbeaboutthething—withabottleofChablis,andthe,ademi-tasseandaedarwouldbeealwouldnotbesohighastocallforthaatiefromtheagemehemeatwouldleavehimfilledandhappyforthejourohiswinterrefuge.
ButasSoapysetfootiaurantdoortheheadwaiter'seyefelluponhisfrayedtrousersashandreadyhandsturnedhimaboutandveyedhimietothesidewalkaheighemenacedmallard.
SoapyturnedoffBroadway.Itseemedthathisroutetothecovetedislandwasnottobeanepieotherwaylimbomustbethoughtof.
AtaerofSixthAvericlightsandglydisplayedwaresbehindplate-glassmadeashopwindowspicuous.Soapytookaeahroughtheglass.Peopleingroundtheer,apolithelead.Soapystoodstill,withhishandsinhispodsmiledatthesightofbrassbuttons.
"Where'sthemanthatdo?"iheoffcer,excitedly.
"Don'tyoufigureoutthatImighthavehadsomethingtodowithit?"saidSoapy,notwithoutsarcasm,butfriendly,asoodfortune.
ThepoliioacceptSoapyevenasawhosmashwindowsdooparleywiththelaw'smiotheirheels.Thepolisawamanhalfwaydownthebltocatchacar.Withdrawnclubhejoi.Soapy,withdisgusti,loafedalong,twisuccessful.
Oesideofthestreetwasarestaurantofensions.Itcateredteappetitesapurses.Itscrodatmospherewerethick;itssoupahin.IntothisplaceSoapytookhisaccusiveshoesarouserswithoutge.Atatablehesataeak,flapjacks,doughnutsaheerhebetrayedthefactthatthemidhimself>
"busyandcallacop,"saidSoapy."Anddon'tkeepageing."
"Nocopforyou,"saidthewaiter,withavoicelikebutterdaheaManhattancocktail."Hey,!"
&lyupoearontheenttitchedSoapy.Hearosejointbyjoint,asater'sruleopehedustfromhisclothes.ArrestseemedbutarosydreaTheIslandseemedveryfaraoliwhoststoretwodoorsawaylaughedahestreet.
FiveblocksSoapytravelledbeforehiscepermittedhimtotureagain.Thistimetheopportuhefatuouslytermedtohimselfa"ch".Ayoungwomanofamodestandpleasiandingbeforeashoithsprightlyisdisplayofshavingmugsandinkstands,andtwoyardsfromtheoliofseveredemeaalug.
Ity'sdesigntoassumetheroleofthedespidexecrated"masher".Therefiappearanceofhisvidthetiguityofthetiouscedhimtobelievethathewouldsooofficialthatwouldierquartershtlittle,tightlittleisle.
Shteheladymissionary'sready-madetie,draggedhisshrinkingtotheopeatakillingdsidledtowardtheyoungwomeher,wastakenwithsuddend"hems",smiled,smirked,abrazenlythroughtheimpudentaiblelita;masher".WithhalfaneyeSoapysaoliwaswatghimfixedly.Theyoungwomanmovedas,andagaiowedherabsorbedattentionupontheshavingmugs.Soapyfollowed,boldlysteppingtoherside,raisedhishatandsaid:
"Ahthere,Bedelia!Don'tyouwanttoeandplayinmyyard?"
ThepoliwasstilllookiedyoungwomanhadbuttobegerandSoapywouldbepractirouteforhisinsularhaven.Alreadyheimaginedhecouldfeelthethofthestatioheyoungwomanfad,stretgoutahand,caughtSoapy'scoatsleeve.
"Sure,Mike,"shesaidjoyfully,"ifyou'llbloailofsuds.I'dhavespoketoyousoohecopwaswatg."
WiththeyounglayingthegivytohisoakSoapyoliewithglooHeseemeddoomedtoliberty.
Attheerheshookoffhispanionaediwherebyhelighteststreets,hearts,vowsaos.Womeninfursandmesmovedgailyiryair.AsuddenfearseizedSoapythatsomedreadfulehadrenderedhimimmuhhtalittleofpaniit,andonanotherpoliginggrandlyinfrontofatrarehecaughtattheimmediatestrawof"disorderlyduct".
Onthesideybegantibberishatthetopofhisharshvoiced,howled,raved,andotherwisedisturbedthewelkin.
ThepolitwirledhisedhisbacktoSoapyaoa:
"ThisohemYaleladscelebrationthegooseeggtheygivetotheHartfe.Noisy;butnoharWe'veinstrustolavethembe."
Dissolate,Soapyceasedhisunavaili.Wouldneverapolilayhandsonhim?InhisfancytheIslatainableArcadia.Hebuttohinstthegwind.
Inacigarstorehesawawell-dressedmanlightingacigarataswinginglight.Hissilkumbrellahehadsetbythedoor.Soapysteppediheumbrellaandsauhitslowly.Themanatthecigarlightfollo>
"Myumbrella,"hesaidsternly.
"Oh,isit?"sneeredSoapy,addinginsulttopetitlary."Well,whydon'tyouan?Itookit.Yourumbrella!Whydon'tyoucallacop?Therestaheer."
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