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凯瑟琳·曼斯菲尔德KatherineMansfield
凯瑟琳·曼斯菲尔德（1888—1923），生于新西兰威灵顿，本名卡瑟琳·包姗普。
1914年，她的小说集《节奏》和《忧郁评论》在她的第一位房客、后来成为她丈夫的社会学家和前文学评论家米多尔顿·莫里的协助下编辑出版，后创作了著名小说《序曲》和《园会》。
1923年1月9日，常年罹患肺结核的凯瑟琳·曼斯菲尔德逝世，年仅45岁。
在凯瑟琳的世界里，死亡是静穆和安逸，甚至是美丽的。
看，她临终前的最后的一句话是：“我喜爱雨，我想要感到它们落到脸上的感觉。”
...Youseethatbignailthtofthefrontdoor?IscarcelylookatitevenIotbeartotakeitout.Ishouldliketothinkitwastherealwayseveime.Isometimeshearthepeoplesaying，"Theremusthavebeenagingfromthere."Andite.Ifeelheisen.
...Youaginehowwonderfullyhesang.Itwashesingingofotheraries.Andthatisn'tjustmyfahewioseepeoplestopatthegatetolisten，ortheywouldleahefehemeforquitealongtime—carriedaoseitsoundsabsurdtoyou—itwouldn'tifyouhadheardhim—butitreallyseemedtomehesangwholesongs，withabeginningahe
ForinstanIfihehouseiernoon，andgedmyblouseandbroughtmysewingontheverandahhere，heusedtohop，hop，hopfromoheainstthebarsasiftoattractmyattention，sipalittlewater，justasaprofessio，andtheoasoethatIhadtoputmyolistentohiI'tdescribeit;IwishIcould.Butitwasalwaysthesame，everyafternoon，aIuoodevery.
...IlovedhiHowIlovedhim!Perhapsitdoesnotmattersoverymuchwhatitisohisworld.Butlovesomethi!Ofcoursetherewasalwaysmylittlehouseandthegarden，butforsomereasontheywereneverenough.Flowersrespondwonderfully，buttheydon'tsympathize.Theheeveningstar.Doesthatsoundridiculous?Iusedtogointothebackyard，aftersu，andwaitforituntilitshohedarkgumtree.Iusedtowhisper，"Thereyouare，mydarling."Andjustinthatfirstmomeobeshiningformealoouhis...somethingwhichislikelongiisnotlret—itismret.Aforwhat?Ihavemuchtobethankfulfor!
...ButafterheylifeIfottheeveningstar;Ididawasstrahewhocametothedoorwithbirdstosellheldhimupinhistinydinstead，flutterihepoldfinches，hegaveafaint，smallchirp.Ifoundmyselfsaying，justasIhadsaidtothestarumtree，"Thereyourare，mydarling."Fromthatmomenthewasmine!
...Itsurpriseseveorememberhowheaher'slives.ThemomentIinthemandtooktheclothoffhiscagehegreetedmewithadrowsylittlenote.Ik;Missus!Missus!"ThenIhunghimosidewhileIgmentheirbreakfasts，ahimin，todohistilwehadthehousetaihewasdowasquitealittlee.Ispreadaneeroveraerofthetableaheitheusedtobeatwithhiswings，despairingly，asifhedidn'tknoasing."Yularlittleactor，"Iusedtos.Iscraped，dusteditwithfreshsand，filledhisseedauckedapieceofchidhalfachilibetweenthebars.Alyheuoodaedeveryitemofthislittleperformance.Youseebynaturehewasexquisitelyherewasneveraspehisperdyou'donlytoseehimenjoyhisbathtorealisehehadarealsmallpassionforess.Hisbathutinlast.Aitositivelyleaptintoit.Firstheflutteredohehenheduckedhisheadanddabbledhisbreastfeathers.Dropsofwaterwerescatteredalloverthekit，butstillhewould.Iusedtosaytohim，"Nowthat'squiteenough.You'reonlyshowingoff."Andatlastouthehoppedandstandingonoopeckhimselfdry.Finallyhegaveashake，aflick，atwitteraedhisthroat—Oh，Ihardlybeartorecallit.Iwasalwaysgthekhen.Anditalmostseemedtomethekoo，asIrubbedthembrightontheboard....paas.Perfepany.Ifyouhavelivedaloneyouwillrealizehowpreciousthatis.Ofcoursethereweremythreeyoungmeosuppereveryevening，aheystayedinthediningroomafterwardsreadingthepaper.ButIotexpectthemtobeihelittlethingsthatmademyday.Whyshouldtheybe?IwasnothingtotheInfact，Ioverheardthemoalkingaboutmeoairsas"theScareatter.Itdoesn'tmatter..Iquiteuheyareyoung.WhyshouldImind?ButIrememberfeelihankfulthatIwashatevening.Itoldhim，aftertheyhadgone.Isaid，"DoyouknowwhattheycallMissus?"AhisheadononesideamewithhislittlebrighteyeuntilIothelplaughioamusehi
...Haveyoukeptbirds?Ifyouhaven't，allthismustsound，perhaps，exaggerated.Peoplehavetheideathatbirdsareheartless，coldlittlecreatures，notlikedogsorcats.MywasherwomaosayeveryMondayhyIdidn'tkeep"aerrier"，"There'snoiss，inaary."Untrue!Dreadfullyuntrue!Iremembero.Ihadhadaveryawfuldream—dreamsbeterriblycruel—evenafterIhadwokenupIotgetoverit.SoIputowothekitflassofwater.Itwasawiandraininghard.IsupposeIstill，butthroughthekitdowthathadn'tabliomethedarkwasstaringin，spying.AndsuddewasuIhadowhomIcouldsay，"I'vehadsuchadreadfuldream，"or—"Hidemefromthedark."Ievenyfaihentherecamealittle"Sweet!Sweet!"Hiscagewasoable，ahhadslippedsothatakoflightshh."Sweet!Sweet!"saidthedarlinglittlefellowagain，softly，asmuchastosay，"I'mhere，Missus.I'mhere!"ThatwassobeautifullyfthatInearlycried.
...Andnowhe'sgone.Ishallherbird，aofanykind.HowcouldI?WhenIfoundhim，lyingonhisback，withhiseyedimandhisg，whehatneveragainshouldIhearmydarlingsihiodieinme.Mybreastfelthollow，asifitwashiscage.Ishallgetoverit.Ofust.Ointime.AndpeoplealwayssayIhaveacheerfuldisposition.Theyarequiteright.IthankGodIhave.
...Allthesame，withoutbeingmwayto—tomemoriesandsoon，Imustfessthattheredoesseemtomesomethingsadiishardtosaywhatitis.Idon'tmeahatweallknow，likeillnessayah.No，itissomethiisthere，deepdown，deepdown，partofone，likeone&#.HoweverhardIworkandtiremyselfIhaveonlytostoptoknowitisthere，waiting.Ioftenwonderifeverybodyfeelsthesame.Oneeverknow.Butisn'titextraordinarythatunderhissweet，joyfullittlesingingitwasjustthis—sadness?—Ah，whatisit?—thatIheard.
……你看到前门右侧的大钉子了么？直到现在，我仍不能看它，也不忍拔掉。
我希望它一直都在那里，甚至在我过世之后。
有时，我听到附近的人说：“那里肯定挂着一只鸟笼。”
这句话给了我一丝安慰。
我感觉它并没有完全被遗忘。
……你无法想象它的歌唱得多么美妙。
它不同于其他金丝雀的声音。
这不仅仅是我一个人的迷恋。
通常，我从窗外看到人们在门前驻足聆听，或是长久地俯在山梅花边的栅栏上……我想这些在你听来都是荒谬的……但如果你听过它的歌唱，便不会这样认为了……我真的觉得它唱了完整的歌曲，有头有尾。
比如，下午打扫完房子之后，我换上宽松的上衣，拿着针线走上阳台，它常常跳啊、跳啊，从一根栖木跳到另一根，敲打着像是要引起我的注意，就如同专业歌唱家那样，嘬一点水，然后放开嗓子歌唱，歌声如此优美，我不得不放下手里的针线活听它歌唱。
我无法形容这种歌声。
我希望我能描绘。
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